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Every day, we face many annoyances that only weigh us down. Annoyances that sink our energy and our mood. Annoyances that genuinely affect us. Annoyances that take time and attention away from what really matters to us. We assume there’s absolutely nothing we can do. And sometimes, acceptance is our best bet. But other times we can get creative. Other times we can become intolerant (in a good way, of course).
In her excellent, inspiring, insight-packed book, How to Do It All: The Revolutionary Plan to Create a Full, Meaningful Life — While Only Occasionally Wanting to Poke Your Eyes out with a Sharpie author Linda Formichelli shares a wonderful tip from life coach Kristin Taliaferro. Taliaferro suggests writing down 100 things that bug us—everything from your noisy fridge to disliking your doctor.
You can write your list in a journal or keep it in Evernote or your favorite app. Formichelli keeps her list on her laptop, so she can update it as needed.
According to Formichelli, co-founder of Renegade Writer Press, tolerations or irritations tend to hide out in the below places, which she suggests exploring:
- Health: Maybe you’re struggling with your allergies. Maybe you’re exhausted. Maybe you’re long overdue for a mammogram or some other kind of checkup. Taking care of our health is an important part of self-care. Plus, when we feel good, it’s much easier to navigate full days. And it’s great to feel good. Image may be NSFW.
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- Home: Formichelli suggests going room by room and identifying everything that’s bothering you. It could be something as small as a melted spatula to something a bit bigger like the moldy grout in your bathroom. Maybe you hate the pillows on your couch or your office walls are too empty or colorless. Maybe your bedroom feels too cluttered (and nothing like the sanctuary you wish it was).
- Career: Maybe you’re annoyed (and exhausted) by the long hours you’re working. Maybe you’re bored with your projects. Maybe your colleague’s gossiping is grating on your nerves.
- Equipment and appliances: Maybe the battery on your smartphone dies within a few hours. Maybe you can’t find anything on your computer because there are just so. many. folders. Maybe your dryer broke. Again.
- Environment: This might be anything from junk mail in your mailbox to light that comes through at 6 a.m. every morning (and messes with your sleep).
- Relationships: Maybe some of your loved ones cross your boundaries. Maybe they make negative comments about your weight. Maybe they try to recruit you for their latest diet. Maybe they don’t listen.
- Time: Time-sapping tolerations include everything from long lines to traffic-packed commutes.
- Finances: This includes debt and confusing bills.
The next part of the process is all about crossing off your tolerations. Formichelli notes that Taliaferro prefers to remove tolerations by category. For instance, for one week, you tackle health-related tolerations. The second week you tackle appliance-related tolerations. But, of course, do what works best for you.
Taliaferro also suggests having three solutions per toleration. Formichelli shares these examples: “You could sew up a torn comforter cover yourself, hire someone else to fix it, or buy a new one. You could fix your own messy nails, get a professional manicure, or learn to be happy with ragged cuticles.” Instead of grocery shopping every Saturday, when lines are out the door, shop every Wednesday.
Talk to your mom about not making comments about your weight. Spend one day making appointments for essential checkups well in advance. If it’s in the budget, hire a housecleaning service for every few weeks or once a month. Make most of your meals every Sunday.
In other words, think of all sorts of solutions for these irritations. Again, get creative. Maybe even have fun with it.
What I love about Formichelli and Taliaferro’s words is that they really speak to empowering ourselves. They remind us that we don’t have to simply swallow the frustration and just deal with it, just put up with it. We don’t have to settle and sleep through our days. There are many things we can do to make our time ours, to make our days more meaningful and to take compassionate care of ourselves. We have that power. You have that power.